Man who becomes enraged by the sound of chewing can't see his family

People deal with their rage in different ways. Some scream and shout at the top of their lungs while others talk with their fists. It’s perfectly normal to get annoyed, but there are definitely people out there who lose their temper a lot easier than they should. Unfortunately, they can’t always help their anger issues. For those with certain disorders, rage is just a part of their day-to-day life, whether they want it to be or not.

Full of rage

One person who sometimes has trouble controlling themselves is Derrol Murphy. The man in his forties can’t always stop himself from lashing out, even when he tries to keep himself calm. However, he doesn’t get angry simply because he has a short fuse.

His rage is tied to a mental disorder he has, which causes intense emotional responses. It’s made certain things in life incredibly hard to deal with, and it’s led him to become estranged from his family.

The trouble with sounds

So, what is it that sets Derrol off so badly? Sounds. The man often struggles to hold himself back when certain noises get to him. These can be all manner of things, from people chewing to plastic bags rustling.

As soon as he hears these triggers, the rage builds quickly and intensely. He never usually acts out with his fists, but the temptation is there sometimes. That’s just how extreme the disorder is. He tries his best not to let it interfere with his life, but that’s usually easier said than done. Some days he just finds it impossible to keep calm.

Living with misophonia

Fortunately, while Derrol might be plagued with this horrific disorder, he’s not alone. Misophonia, the scientific name for the condition, is believed to be quite common around the world. Official numbers are hard to come by, partly because it’s only recently that people have come to acknowledge it as a proper disorder.

However, there are many people in Derrol’s position. Admittedly, not everyone who has misophonia experiences triggers to the same degree as him. The intensity differs from person to person, just as the number of stimuli they’re affected by does too. Thousands of people can understand what he’s going through, though.

A lifelong condition

Derrol can’t remember a time when he hasn’t had to live with misophonia. The disorder has plagued him for over 40 years, and it’s likely that he’ll have to deal with it for the rest of his life. Fortunately, while he might not be able to get rid of the condition, at least he understands what it is now.

For years, he had no idea that what he suffered with was something that affects thousands of other people around the world. He feared that he was just crazy because he had such intense reactions to normal sounds. Thankfully, that wasn’t the case.

Estranged from his family

Sadly, knowing what’s wrong with him hasn’t stopped the misophonia from interfering with certain parts of his life. One of the biggest impacts that the disorder has had on Derrol is distancing him from the people he loves. The man struggles to be around people because making noises is just a natural part of life.

Whether they’re clearing their throat or chewing their food, his loved ones can’t help that they make sounds. Unfortunately, Derrol equally can’t help the way those sounds affect him. According to Murphy, his difficulties with misophonia have stopped him from speaking to his family for four years.

Problems at work

It’s not just his home life that’s been affected by the disorder. Apparently, things have been just as problematic at work. There have been several instances where Derrol has nearly lashed out at a coworker just because they were clicking their pen.

It was such a small thing, but he couldn’t help the rage building inside him. There’s no off switch for his misophonia, and the simplest things can easily change his mood. It’s a nightmare to deal with.

Staying away from the movies

Due to the intense nature of his disorder, there are some things that Derrol can’t do anymore. This includes going to the movies, an activity that a lot of people take for advantage. Murphy apparently hasn’t been out to see a film for over a decade because he can’t deal with other people eating there.

According to him, food packets being opened is a massive trigger for him, which is why he prefers to keep his distance.

It’s hard to understand

It hasn’t always been easy for the people around Derrol to understand what he’s going through. Unless you have misophonia yourself, it’s hard to grasp just how deeply certain sounds can affect a person.

Even when people say they get where he’s coming from, they’re still only brushing the surface of his disorder. It makes connecting with other people incredibly difficult for Murphy, especially because he’s capable of flying into a rage with them at any moment.

Blocking out the world

Luckily, while Derrol might be sensitive to sound, there are ways for him to deal with his issues. When he needs to distance himself from the triggers and keep himself calm, he slips on a pair of headphones.

These block out the world and put Murphy into a comforting headspace, which is why he wears them for several hours a day. It might not be fun to close himself off like this, but it keeps his rage in check.

Difficult to date

One area that Derrol’s misophonia has been particularly problematic is his dating life. It seems that Murphy has struggled to connect with other men because he gets so easily irritated by them. His disorder has apparently forced him to walk out on dates before due to noisy eating.

The sound of chewing is a huge trigger, and so he’s had to call things off simply to save face. Unfortunately, that has happened to Derrol quite a few times.

Unlucky in love

It was actually the man’s misophonia that caused his last relationship to break down. Although Derrol hasn’t divulged much about what happened, it’s easy to understand how the disorder came between them. Living with misophonia is tough on everyone, not just the person with the condition.

When you know that someone might get angry at the slightest sound, you have to think carefully about everything you do. That can become too much for some people to deal with.

Something to smile about

However, while Derrol’s disorder might have attempted to derail his love life, things aren’t all bad. He’s now in a relationship with one of his coworkers, and the pair appear very happy together. Murphy was single for two years before he and his partner, Kurt, embarked on a romance.

During that time, Derrol struggled to navigate the dating world, which is why he was grateful when his boyfriend came along. Of course, their relationship didn’t have the best start.

Off to a bad start

It seems that Kurt didn’t give off the greatest first impression when they went out on a date. The sound of his jaw clicking really irritated Derrol, as did the fact that he ate with his mouth open. By all means, the date should have gone down as another failure.

However, the chemistry between these two was clearly too great to lose. Even when Murphy revealed his frustrations, the duo found a way to move past the issues.

Found their footing

It’s taken the pair some time to find their footing as a couple, but each new day is a step in the right direction. The longer they’ve been together, the easier they’ve found it to work as a team.

While Derrol’s misophonia still throws a spanner in the works from time to time, it’s no longer a deal-breaker for his relationship. It helps that Kurt has been so willing to adapt to his boyfriend’s needs.

A system in place

Part of the reason their relationship continues to work is that they have a system in place based around Derrol’s condition. Kurt now warns his partner whenever he’s going to make a potentially distressing noise, giving Murphy a chance to cover his ears.

It might not be much, but it’s something that’s really transformed the man’s life. Just knowing his boyfriend is happy to make sacrifices for his sake has really improved his quality of life.

Raising awareness

With Derrol’s story attracting publicity, he’s hopeful that more people will start to learn about misophonia. Although plenty of people have the disorder, not everyone realizes it’s real. The problem, Murphy states, is that you can’t see when someone has misophonia, leading some people to believe it doesn’t exist.

It’s the same problem that those with anxiety, depression, and other mental disorders face all the time. Thankfully, understanding of these things is growing by the day.

Not alone in this

More people are talking about this disorder than just Derrol. Several celebrities have come forward admitting to having misophonia, including TV personality and actress Kelly Ripa. Like Murphy, she also didn’t understand why she had such an aversion to certain noises.

It was only after reading an article in the New York Times that she realized she wasn’t alone in her pain. Since then, she’s learned to deal with her condition, although some days are easier than others.

Struggling celebrities

Kelly Osbourne is another celebrity who’s been vocal about her struggles with misophonia. The disorder affects her so severely that she’s ripped food out of people’s mouths before because she couldn’t cope with their chewing.

Kelly has acknowledged that the condition makes her seem insane at times, but she can’t help it. When a sound gets to her, she can’t control the rage that manifests. This is something she’s had to live with her whole life.

It’s different for everyone

Like many mental disorders, misophonia affects people in different ways. While some sufferers will have mild reactions to distressing noises, others will completely flip out. The fact that responses can be so different is partly why misophonia isn’t talked about that often.

It’s only those who have extreme reactions that realize they have a disorder. Their condition is so debilitating that they struggle to live with it, unlike everyone else who can go on with their lives.

The rise of ASMR videos

Those who have severe emotional responses to sounds would struggle with one of the biggest trends online right now. In the last view years, ASMR – or autonomous sensory meridian response – videos have been a huge hit.

These primarily involve people doing things from eating food to touching objects next to a high-quality microphone. Viewers hear what’s happening better than if they were doing the actions themselves, and some people enjoy that. It gives them a tingling sensation.

Helping to relax

It’s unclear why ASMR videos have suddenly become popular. However, it may be tied to the psychological relief that some viewers get when they hear these intense sounds. Many people have credited these videos for helping them calm down after an anxiety attack, or fall asleep when they have insomnia.

Although they’re not a replacement for proper medical treatment, ASMR has clearly helped a lot of viewers with mental disorders. Perhaps medical professionals should start using them for therapy.

A bad reaction

Of course, there are many people who don’t find these videos relaxing. Anyone with misophonia would probably consider ASMR as their idea of a nightmare. If they can’t cope with hearing people chew or open packets at a normal sound level, they wouldn’t be able to handle anything as intense as this.

That’s something that would have to be considered if ASMR were ever to be used for therapeutic purposes. The experience would only make their problems worse.

No cure in sight

Although we can hope that a treatment for misophonia will be available one day, it may be a while before that happens. The disorder is still relatively unknown, with experts currently unclear as to why it really happens.

More research is required before there’s an understanding of what causes it, let alone a way to stop it. At least there are ways for people like Derrol to cope with misophonia, even if they can’t get rid of it completely.